Michael Moore

"Capitalism did nothing for me."

Barack Obama

"He's a jackass!"

Kanye West

"I’M SOOOOO SORRY TO TAYLOR SWIFT AND HER FANS AND HER MOM."

Michael Jackson

"You ain't bad, you ain't nothin'. You ain't nothin'!"

Megan Fox

“I’d barter with him [Megatron] and say instead of the entire planet, can you just take out all of the white trash, hillbilly, anti-gay, super Bible-beating people in Middle America?”

Bruno

"Eminem, nice to meet you."

Kanye West

"There's nothing more to be said about music. I'm the fucking end-all, be-all of music."

Will Smith

“If I am ordered by my commander in chief to star in a film about him, I will do my duty as an American."

Kanye West

"I realize that my place and position in history is that I will go down as the voice of this generation, of this decade, I will be the loudest voice, it's me settling into that position of just really accepting that it's one thing to say you want to do it and it's another thing to really end up being like Michael Jordan."

Malia Obama

"You're going to be on all the TV? Are you going to interrupt my TV?"

Lindsay Lohan

"Is our country so divided that the Republicans best hope is a narrow minded, media obsessed homophobe?"

Pam Anderson

“I can't stand her. She can suck it!”

Whoopi Goldberg

"Should I be worried about being a slave again?"

Matt Damon

"I need to know if she really thinks dinosaurs were here 4000 years ago. I want to know that. I really do. Because she's going to have the nuclear codes. I want to know if she thinks dinosaurs were here 4000 years ago."

Barack Obama

"You can put lipstick on a pig, it's still a pig. You can wrap an old fish in a piece of paper called change. It's still gonna stink."

Oprah Winfrey

"I cried my eyelashes off."

Michael Moore

“I was just thinking, this Gustav is proof that there is a God in heaven.”

Sharon Stone

"Then all this earthquake and all this stuff happened, and I thought, is that karma? When you’re not nice, that the bad things happen to you?"

Tim Robbins

"We've killed over 400,000 of their citizens."

Elton John

“I mean, get out there — communicate. Hopefully the next movement in music will tear down the internet. Let’s get out in the streets and march and protest instead of sitting at home and blogging."

Rosie O'Donnell

"Have you see my ass?!"

Sheryl Crow

"I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting, only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where two to three could be required."

Don Imus

“That’s some rough girls from Rutgers. Some hardcore ho’s. That’s some nappy-headed ho’s there, I’m going to tell you that.”

Keith Richards

"The strangest thing I've tried to snort? My father. I snorted my father, He was cremated and I couldn't resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow. My dad wouldn't have cared - he didn't give a shit. It went down pretty well. And I'm still alive."

Robert Redford

"Anyone with a rational mind and a sense of decency is being positioned as a lefty by the extreme right, I believe in the tenets of democracy, and when they get pushed, it pisses me off."

Simon Cowell

"Create the hype, but don't ever believe it."

Katie Couric

"Oh my God, I’m so boring."

Oliver Stone

"It's great to be back in England. I feel like Jack The Ripper days are back. Nothing ever changes here."

Kirk Douglas

"Let's face it: THE WORLD IS IN A MESS and you are inheriting it."

Damon Wayans

"Give yourselves a big round of applause for coming down and supporting 'Nigger Night.'"

Andy Dick

"You're all a bunch of niggers!"

Gwyneth Paltrow

"The British are much more intelligent and civilized than the Americans."

Edward Norton

"The world has got so many problems in it, the last thing that the world needs to see is the same group of people congratulating themselves over and over again for the same totally disposable pieces of work."

Scarlett Johansson

"We are supposed to be liberated in America but if our President had his way, we wouldn't be educated about sex at all. Every woman would have six children and we wouldn't be able to have abortions."

Elton John

"I would ban religion completely."

Rosie O'Donnell

"Radical Christianity is just as threatening as radical Islam in a country like America where we have separation of church and state."

Natalie Maines

''What a dumb fuck. You're a dumb fuck.''

Steve Irwin

"Crikey, mate. You're far safer dealing with crocodiles and western diamondback rattlesnakes than the executives and the producers and all those sharks in the big MGM building."

Jack Black

“This show has been lame farts for the past 20 years and I’m going to light the match!”

Jesse James

"Everyone in Iraq knows Bush is a dickhead. He's the boss' kid. "Everybody I know who has a successful business who has a kid - the kid is always a fuckhead. Have you ever noticed that?"

Madonna

“I can write the greatest songs and make the most fabulous films and be a fashion icon and conquer the world, but if there isn’t a world to conquer, what’s the point?”

Paris Hilton

"I, like, cry, when I listen to it, it's so good."

Kevin Federline

"Don't hate because I'm a superstar! And I'm married to a superstar! Nothin' come between us no matter who you are!"

Paris Hilton

"I think I am a good role model."

Michael Moore

"If you were to hang out with me here it won't be five or 10 minutes before you see a Republican hug me."

Mel Gibson

"Fucking Jews. The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world. Are you a Jew?"

Betty Williams

"Right now, I would love to kill George Bush."

Tom Cruise

"You don’t know the history of psychiatry. I do.”

Paris Hilton

"There's nobody in the world like me, I think every decade has an iconic blonde -- like Marilyn Monroe or Princess Diana -- and right now, I'm that icon."

Natalie Maines

"Why do you have to be a patriot? About what? This land is our land? Why? You can like where you live and like your life, but as for loving the whole country… I don't see why people care about patriotism."

Madonna

"I don't think Jesus would be mad at me and the message I'm trying to send."

Natalie Maines

"I don't feel he is owed any respect whatsoever."

Natalie Maines

"Just so you know, we're ashamed that the President of the United States is from Texas."

Ian McKellen

"I've often thought the Bible should have a disclaimer in the front saying this is fiction."

Madonna

"Just go to Texas and suck George Bush's dick."

Jake Gyllenhaal

"The US soldiers were sent to the desert for 122 days and they sat in the same tent and did nothing, except a little too much masturbating."

Oliver Stone

"We're Hollywood wackos and all that stuff."

George Clooney

"No need to try to create new laws to restrict free speech. Just make them useless. That's the fun of it."

Liza Minnelli

"I'm sick of sex!"

Sharon Stone

"Hillary still has sexual power, and I don't think people will accept that. It's too threatening."

Madonna

"I kissed Britney Spears. I am the mommy pop star and she is the baby pop star. And I am kissing her to pass my energy on to her."

George Clooney

"I'm proud to be out of touch."

Spike Lee

"Condi, stop smoking that crack!"

Alec Baldwin

"Cheney is a terrorist. He terrorizes our enemies abroad and innocent citizens here at home indiscriminately."

Kayne West

"I should be in the Bible."

Hillary Clinton

"You cannot explain to me why we have not captured or killed the tallest man in Afghanistan."

Hillary Clinton

"I predict to you that this administration will go down on history as one of the worst that has ever governed out country."

Don King

"George Walker Bush is a tremendous advocate to America, a great president for the great American people, and he's decisive. He's doesn't equivocate."

Richard Nixon

"Solutions are not the answer."

Patrick Swayze

"Good looking people turn me off. Myself included."

Marilyn Manson

"I say no to drugs, but they don't listen."

Madonna

"Listen, everyone is entitled to my opinion."

Jennifer Love Hewitt

"I don't want to ever, ever do something in life that isn't fun. Ever."

Hillary Clinton

"Give Bill a second term, and Al Gore and I will be turned loose to do what we really want to do."

Dan Quayle

"What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is."

Britney Spears

"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada."

Alicia Silverstone

"I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness."

Al Gore

"I invented the internet."

Yogi Berra

"I really didn't say everything I said."

Ronald Reagan

"What does an actor know about politics?"

Ivana Trump

"Fiction writing is great. You can make up almost anything."

Kevin Costner

"It sounds vain, but I could probably make a difference for almost everyone I ever met if I chose to involve myself with them either professionally or personally."

Brigitte Nielsen

"I do expose my body, but only because I think people should have something nice to look at."

Michael Moore

"The Iraqis who have risen up against the occupation are not 'insurgents' or 'terrorists' or 'The Enemy.' They are the REVOLUTION, the Minutemen, and their numbers will grow -- and they will win."

Ted Kennedy

"Shamefully we now learn that Saddam's torture chambers reopened under new management, U.S. management."

John Kerry

"I don't fall down. That son of a b*tch knocked me over."

Hillary Clinton

"Many of you are well enough off that...the tax cuts may have helped you. We're saying that for America to get back on track, we're probably going to cut that short and not give it to you. We're going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good."

Bill Maher

"We are a nation that is unenlightened because of religion. I do believe that. I think that religion stops people from thinking. I think it justifies crazies. I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder. If you look at it logically, it's something that was drilled into your head when you were a small child. It certainly was drilled into mine at that age. And you really can't be responsible when you are a kid for what adults put into your head."

John Kerry

"And there is no reason, Bob, that young American soldiers need to be going into the homes of Iraqis in the dead of night, terrorizing kids and children, you know, women, breaking sort of the customs of the – of – the historical customs, religious customs. Whether you like it or not ... Iraqis should be doing that."

Moby

"As a matter of fact, I was talking to my friend Laura, who sings on the record, and we're both getting to the point where we want to start families. We're convinced that if we have children, we're going to do everything in our power to make them gay. Like maybe drinking a lot of extra soy milk while she's pregnant, or anything that would work to make that happen. I'd just rather have a really sharp, interesting, smart gay son than some big dumb hetero meathead."

Drew Barrymore

"I took a poo in the woods hunched over like an animal. It was awesome."

Andy Rooney

"I have the right not to be tolerant of others because they are different, weird, or tick me off."

Eva Longoria

"I've lost a lot of jobs because I was too pretty. And everybody's like, 'Oh, poor you.' But seriously, you don't get the good roles when you're beautiful."

Saddam Hussein

"Go to hell"

Charlize Theron

"We came up with a new idea that we said that we would get married the day that gays and lesbians can get married - when that right is given to them. We've decided that we're gonna use that in a positive way, so the day that law gets passed then we'll get married."

Laurie Goldberg

"Upon seeing this unfortunate but very brief graphic, CNN senior management immediately investigated. We concluded this was a technological malfunction, not an issue of operator error. A portion of the switcher experienced a momentary glitch. We obviously regret that it happened and are working on the equipment to ensure it is not repeated."

Celine Dion

"Oh, they're stealing 20 pair of jeans or they're stealing television sets. Who cares? They're not going to go too far with it. Maybe those people are so poor, some of the people who do that they're so poor they've never touched anything in their lives. Let them touch those things for once."

Jean Schmidt

"He asked me to send Congress a message -- stay the course. He also asked me to send Congressman Murtha a message -- that cowards cut and run, Marines never do."

O.J.

"I still don't get how anyone can be found not guilty of a murder and then be found responsible for it in any way, shape or form. If you're found not guilty, how can you be found responsible? I'd love to hear how that's not double jeopardy."

Johnny Depp

"It's insane, that setting cars on fire is the new strike. I went there to live because it seemed so simple. Now it's anything but. I don't know how they'll recover from this."

Hugo Chavez

"The planet's most serious danger is the government of the United States. The people of the United States are being governed by a killer, a genocidal murderer and a madman."

Al Gore

"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."

Bill Clinton

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."

Al Gore

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

Hillary Clinton

"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president."

Marion Barry

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country."

Mariah Carey

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that,but not with all those flies and death and stuff."

Al Gore

"If You Allow Someone Like Saddam Hussein To Get Nuclear Weapons, Ballistic Missiles, Chemical Weapons, Biological Weapons, How Many People Is He Going To Kill With Such Weapons? He's Already Demonstrated A Willingness To Use These Weapons ..."

Hillary Clinton

"I Voted For The Iraqi Resolution. I Consider The Prospect Of A Nuclear-Armed Saddam Hussein Who Can Threaten Not Only His Neighbors, But The Stability Of The Region And The World, A Very Serious Threat To The United States."

John Kerry

"According To The CIA's Report, All U.S. Intelligence Experts Agree That Iraq Is Seeking Nuclear Weapons. There Is Little Question That Saddam Hussein Wants To Develop Nuclear Weapons."

Bill Clinton

"Saddam must not be allowed to threaten his neighbors or the world with nuclear arms, poison gas or biological weapons. Earlier today I ordered America's armed forces to strike military and security targets in Iraq. They are joined by British forces. Their mission is to attack Iraq's nuclear, chemical and biological weapons programs and its military capacity to threaten its neighbors."

Samuel Alito

"I am particularly proud of my contributions in recent cases in which the government argued that racial and ethnic quotas should not be allowed and that the Constitution does not protect a right to an abortion.”

Jimmy Carter

"In the last 5 years there's been a dramatic and disturbing and radical change in the values of this country, we don't wait until our country is threatened, we publicly announced our new policy is to attack a county, invade a country, bomb a county."

Johnny Depp

"America is dumb, is something like a dumb puppy that has big teeth – that can bite and hurt you, aggressive. My daughter is four, my boy is one. I'd like them to see America as a toy, a broken toy. Investigate it a little, check it out, get this feeling and then get out."

Sharon Stone

''Halle's so beautiful, and I wanted to kiss her. I said, How can you have us in the movie and not have us kiss? It's such a waste. But that's what you get for having George Bush as president."

George W. Bush

"More than 100 Democrats in the House and the Senate who had access to the same intelligence voted to support removing Saddam Hussein from power."

Gwyneth Paltrow

"I worry about bringing up a child in America. At the moment there's a weird, over-patriotic atmosphere over there, like, 'We're number one and the rest of the world doesn't matter.'"

Barbra Streisand

"And of course, as expected, our 42nd President, Bill Clinton, was brilliant. His intellect and command of the issues set forth at both a macro and micro level was astonishing. In addition, his ability to probe the various conversations and come up with viable solutions was a testament to his problem solving skills."

Howard Dean

"The resounding victories tonight by Jon Corzine and Tim Kaine have sent a powerful message that when Democrats stand up for what we believe in, we win. They showed that the values and priorities of the Democratic Party are the values and priorities of the American people."

Arnold Schwarzenegger

"To those critics who are so pessimistic about our economy, I say, Don't be economic girlie men!"

Marilyn Manson

"I'm at that level where there's nothing left living for except doing some damage."

Hillary Clinton

"Taking such action for political purposes is simply reprehensible and should never be tolerated."

Bill Clinton

"I think it's immoral, I think it's unethical."

Oliver Stone

"I admire Fidel because he is a survivor. He has survived several U.S. presidents who have tried to eliminate him.”

Martin Sheen

"We idealise our leaders, raise them up so we have the power to knock them down. The American psyche is oddball. As soon as a man becomes president, suddenly there's no more original sin - as if he isn't going to have a sex life."

Jennifer Aniston

"How about that indictment?! And why did it take so long to respond to the crisis in New Orleans? Everything is imploding. It all seems to lead back to our dear president.”

George Clooney

"Charlton Heston announced again today that he is suffering from Alzheimer's. I don't care. Charlton Heston is the head of the National Rifle Association. He deserves whatever anyone says about him."

Whitney Houston

"I make too much for me to ever smoke crack. Crack is wack."

Cindy Sheehan

"George Bush needs to stop talking, admit the mistakes of his all around failed administration, pull our troops out of occupied New Orleans and Iraq, and excuse his self from power."

Donald Sutherland

"They were inept. The were inadequate to the task, and they lied. And they were insulting, and they were vindictive. And they were heartless. They did not care. They do not care. They do not care about Iraqi people. They do not care about the families of dead soldiers. They only care about profit."

Madonna

''Global terror is everywhere. Global terror is down the street, around the block. Global terror is in California. There's global terror everywhere and it's absurd to think you can get it by going to one country and dropping tons of bombs on innocent people."

Moby

"as time passes i realize that bush can sort of be forgiven for being right-wing and absurdly out of touch, but he can't be forgiven for being ignorant, arrogant, and inept."

Kayne West

"George Bush doesn't care about black people"